Wednesday, October 3, 2012


There is a whole lot of stretching happening around here right now. And, it is not the physical kind of stretching that happens in the morning when you get out of bed, or the kind that you do before and after a good work out (no work out here!). No, it is the very hard kind of stretching, the mental and emotional kind that tears at your heart and leaves you feeling wounded. The kind that makes you grow.


September has been a hard month. To be completely honest, August was a bit of a hard one too. We have been preparing for and living the beginning of school for our sweet girl. The heart strings between me and my girl have been tied pretty tight. She stretched and grew inside of me and made my heart grow one million billion trillion sizes with each day of her life. 

pregnant with my girl
We have had very little time apart. Sometimes this made for fantastic days of laughter and learning. Other days, it made for frustration and the need to find our own space. I knew that with the beginning of school, I would give my girl over to someone else, someone else who would spend more of the day with her than I would, have an influence on her, would make her stretch and grow without me. 

first day. here she goes!
Don't get me wrong, this is a wonderful thing, but as those heart strings stretch, it hurts. And, it doesn't only hurt me, it hurts my girl too. She has had the safety of her mama's arms, love, embrace, encouragement for four years, and it has been hard for her to step out our front door (quite literally) and enter into the world where she has to find her own safety, her own words, her own self. She has been so scared, so brave, so proud, so vulnerable, so consistent, so volatile. 

Pride of place on the fridge
 And, then there is our sweet boy who is stretching and growing in his own right. 

Wanting to be just like big sister!
He is seeing the world from a new height, proudly exploring the world by foot. He is amazed by everything. He points to the light, clock, phone, book, tree, asking for a name, an explanation. He is happy for us to explain and shakes his head with acceptance. The heart strings are still tied tight. We are still the world to him.

safe with dad
Add into the mix, a mama and daddy who are adapting to this new routine of getting up in the morning with the mission of making the first hour of the day happy and managable. To gear up for the day ahead, stay one step ahead of the little voice saying, "I don't want to go to school today," and an even bigger step ahead of the big, booming, screeching voice yelling, "I don't want to go to school today". We are doing all of this while also trying to make breakfast, a school lunch, shower, breathe, learn new things, try new things, breathe, love each other, argue, grow, stretch, breathe. 

Breakfast time!

It feels like it has been the biggest month for our family. The biggest stretch. The biggest growth. My husband is good to remind me of all the other times we felt this way in our lives as a family. We got through those times. Right now, we are in the thick of it. We are seeing little moments of beauty in all of it, and are waiting patiently for a little reprieve, for a little more of this....

Loving life at the fall fair 

taking flight at the park

Self protrait of our girl taken today. That smile tells me we are doing something right.

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